Week 3 goals

Week 2 Goals: UPDATE

1. Run 10 Miles a week. No. But I am determined I will meet this goal! I will keep trying! Since I posted this goal I've actually run LESS than usual.

2. Eat my salad with dinner first.  Done! I cannot say it was like that every night of the week of the majority, I can say yes!

3. (Gasp)...NO SODA (not even diet)-I am giving myself credit as I had ONE soda for an entire week and I felt the need due to a bad headache and some caffeine needed.

4. Eat a Healthy snack afterschool.Done! I stuck to the serving size on the veggie chips or chose things that were around 100 calories.

Week 3 goals:

1. Spend less time on the computer when I am at home with my family.

2. Run 10 miles this week.

3. Push myself during the Race for the Cure 5K this Saturday. Finish the race with nothing left!

4. With regards sweets and soda--moderation!! (1-2 sodas and 1-2 sweets total all week)

Ok, here goes another week!

F I N A L L Y. . .

Its been a long time coming, but I FINALLY have a surgery date. Thank goodness for the sweet, sweet, receptionist at my Dr.'s office who is coordinating my surgery because she worked so hard to make it work with my schedule. She is very motherly and super nice and so I was excited when she called to give me the date. We talked about November but while on the phone realized that the only day options in Mid-novemeber are...my birthday or the day before T-giving since surgery days are Wednesdays. So, we opted to go for the Wed. after T-giving. Here it is: November 28th, 2012 is my date!

I feel like things have settled down a bit with less Dr.'s appointments and all of that so now I am able to start planning. The other big news is that I am contemplating running the half marathon in November. It is right before my surgery and my 32nd birthday. Perhaps running that would give me something positive to focus on as a countdown to surgery. My blogger friend Krysten at http://darwinianfail.blogspot.com/ has inspired me to follow in her footsteps and do a half marathon right before my mastectomy/reconstruction. If I cannot make the half marathon, I can at least to the 8K. I hope that it works out. I haven't decided 100% but I definitely thinking about it. What better way to prepare my body for surgery?!?

If you have thoughts, please share!!

Week 2 goals and Week 1 update

Ok, so i am obviously a little behind on my blog posts (for my family blog too, eek!). I made it through week 1 of my goals with a 50% success rate though each goal that I didn't make I still made *some* progress with. Here is the update:

Week 1 Goals:

1. No sweets for a week.-- I DID IT!!! 

2. Eat salad for dinner for a week. Nope. Not even close. I did eat salad for dinner on 3 nights. By that I mean salad ONLY. We eat salad with dinner almost every night already. This was harder than I thought when my Chef Husband was making awesomely delicious meals. I couldn't resist. Though, I did get back on track with my healthy eating. So, it wasn't a total loss.

3. Clean my house more often. Done and Done!! My house was clean for about...what like 15 minutes?!?! (two kids=messy house!)

4. Run 10 miles a week. No. My running mileage is completely dependent on me running outside afterschool. Due to meetings, rain, etc. I was not able to accomplish this goal. I'll keep posting it until I make it! I did, however, stick to my weightlifting and core training schedule and had a great week of that. 

Week 2 Goals:
1. Run 10 Miles a week.
2. Eat my salad with dinner first.  Also I should make the salad a larger portion and my dinner a smaller portion.
3. (Gasp)...NO SODA (not even diet)
4. Eat a Healthy snack afterschool. I come home at 3:30 starving and I am not always making the best choices of snack. Something around 100-150 calories is my guideline.

Ok, so here we go. Since I am so late, I am going with Tuesday-Sunday this week. I didn't have a soda today, ate a large salad before eating my tomato basil pizza and...well no I didn't run and my snack was...uh not 100 calories but 2/4 means I am off to a good start. I still have my eyes on those Toms!!

Spring break, surgery date conflict, and Toms!

First of all, spring break was awesome. Being at home with my family is so fun! We even were able to take a mini vacation to Virginia Beach, see my parents, and my sister. It was a busy but great week! I did get some not so great news about my surgery date. August is not possible. That kind of throws a wrench in all of my plans. Dan and I are still talking about our other options and what works best for our schedule. Since he is a teacher, he prefer not to take a week off in September which is the first available time that the two surgeons can coordinate, not to mention he was out the first week of school this year due to Miss Carter’s arrival. Anyway, I am not going to let it get me down. We’ll figure out a date. Perhaps re-visiting the original November/Thanksgiving plan would be best.

On a totally unrelated note….I am going to try something I’ve seen on a lot of other blogs though my time frame will most likely be shorter. I am going to set some goals for myself and reward myself if I reach them. I am going to try a week at a time though I hope to at least keep it going for a month. I am going to start small. So, here we go.

Week 1 Goals:

1. No sweets for a week. I think I need to be specific here: doughnuts, candy, cookies, cake, ice cream (none of these things are ever in my house yet I somehow manage to eat them----teacher’s lounge!!) Do granola bars count? Chime in if you have thoughts?!?!?

2. Eat salad for dinner for a week. I feel like I ate my way through my spring break so this will be a good way to get back on to my healthy eating diet.

3. Clean my house more often. For this week: kitchen scrubbed and mopped and clean master bathroom.

4. Run 10 miles a week. I am averaging about 2 runs at around 3 miles. So I need to add another run at around 4 miles. My garmin will keep me honest!

Ok, I feel like that is a good start. I am going to try to do 4 rounds of 1 week goals. Some goals overlapping, and some changing. Now that I’ve put it on the blog…I have to do it, right? What is my reward?

 Toms!!

Spring break--woohoo!

I am on spring break this week and my only goal of the week is to love on my family and have fun! My sis is visiting now, we plan to take a short mini vacation to the beach, and my mom and dad are coming this weekend so it should be a great week. No more worries or thoughts about any of this stuff. Just snuggles from my cuties and fun times ahead!

Why me?

As I am becoming more familiar with the BRCA positive community it seems we all generally go through the same stages. I guess it is normal that I am now at the “why me” stage. First, it is anger but mostly now just sadness. I know most that go through some sort of grief/stress process ask the question....why me? Is it because I am strong enough to handle it? Is it just bad luck? It is for no reason at all?

Some of my friends ask me how I am doing and I am torn between telling them everything is fine and actually telling them the truth. I’d be lying if I said that a fear about my impending surgery or my children’s future doesn’t creep into my mind daily. At work, at the gym, at home, running, even hanging out with my friends it is with me and will be forever. I can’t go back to the days of just assuming I could chose a healthy lifestyle and live until I was 100 or the days when I had zero fears over the health of my children. It is like a box that has been opened that can never be shut again. Nothing will ever be like it used to be.  That makes me a little mad, well maybe a lot mad.. I can do everything I can, feed them healthy food, encourage an active and healthy lifestyle but the odds are stacked against those of us with the BRCA gene. It was bad enough when just dealing with my mom having breast cancer but now it is a lifelong battle of dealing with something much worse--the fear of cancer for my children and the affect of knowing  you are at increased risk. I can do whatever I need to do to eliminate my risk but I cannot protect them, forever. Just like I am processing this information now at 31 they could be even younger when they have to process it. I am glad they are so small that they won’t really remember me having the surgery and I surely hope my new breasts is so awesome that Carter won’t notice the difference between her and I as she goes through puberty. I just fear the day that she puts it all together. Nama had breast cancer and looks different, mommy looks different, what does that mean for me? Will she put it all together and question why we look different? Question her own risk? Assume she, too, will have to have breast reconstruction because both her grandmother and mother did? I honestly don’t know at what age you begin to discuss things like this with a child but I will have to at some point share this information. I hope until that point, that I can keep it hidden. I hope that she can grow up like any other girl in the world. A girl who will be excited to develop into a woman and not be deathly afraid of having the very things that define you as a women turn against you.