Sunday, March 18, 2012

I am strong, physically.

As I mentioned before due to my weight lifting routine I feel really physically strong right now. I am glad as it is paired with a not so strong emotional side. For the past 1.5 years (9 months of those being pregnant-yes I was that girl with the big old belly doing body pump) I have been pretty dedicated about going to body pump 2 times a week. Body Pump is a choreographed weight lifting class that takes you through your whole body in 1 hour. After your first class your *whole* body hurts. It hurts to walk, move, sleep, eat. Anyway, I am way past that point and have been increasing my weights and moving up in the program. It makes me proud that one part of my exercise routine is super successful right now (the running is coming along, also). I don't know but its weird to me that there is this fused connection between body pump and my BRCA fate. Is that weird? I mean I did find out that I was positive 1 minute before attending a body pump class. The first hour of my life as a BRCA carrier (a known one that is) was spent pumping iron. I didn't cry I busted my butt in class. I often find my mind wandering during class to BRCA. As a mom of two I don't get too much time to think alone at home. So, while I am at the gym I am pumping my muscles but also pumping myself up. I think about how strong I am and how strong I will be when I have surgery. I see how my body is physically improving and how it will continue to improve before my surgery. I really do want to be at the peak of my physical condition before I do this surgery. It may seem silly as it'll just get all torn up again and I'll be starting over...but it is my mind set right now. I don't know but I feel really great during body pump class and it helps that I get that burst of strength and reassurance to myself each week. I guess if I can make my body physically strong then the rest of me has to follow, right?

For those of you who know me well you might be wondering...what happened to the triathlon training? The answer is...I don't know. My bike that is stashed in the attic is literally dusty from lack of use while I was pregnant. Having the two kids and a lack of options for what to do with them while I bike, it seems it has taken a back burner. I won't make any final decisions and if an opportunity arises I'll take it to get back on the road with my bike. Until then, I'll keep doing what I am doing because clearly it is helping me in more ways than one.

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