Tuesday, April 2, 2013

A happy place.

It has officially been 2 weeks since my last surgery and surprisingly, I feel so great! After feeling the immediate relief of having the expanders taken out I now realize how much pain I was in for the past few months. I knew going into this that it would be no walk in the park, but honestly, I had no idea of what was to come on Nov. 28th when I was wheeled into the operating room. I do not regret my decision but I am certainly thankful that the hard part is over. No one can really know how they will react to surgery and my kind of surgery was so specific to me with my existing scars and all and so I had no idea what to expect. I guess it is a good thing or else I might have backed out!

So the doctor cleared me for all activities. Picking up the kids, running, weight lifting (light at first!). I honestly feel back to "normal". I don't think about my implants or the the numbness in my chest. I don't think about being BRCA positive during the day. I don't feel "different". I don't feel self concious about the way I look. I think the results turned out great and by great I mean I look exactly like I wanted....the way I used to look. I don't think a random person could look at me and guess at all I've been through or that I had a mastectomy just a few short months ago. That is what I wanted. I just wanted to make it through looking like I used to look.

When I was in the plastic surgeon's office yesterday the secretary asked me to update my health form because it had been over a year since it was first completed. I couldn't beleive it. It has been a year! A year of planning, doctor's appointments, MRI's, exams, surgeries, follow up appointments, medicine, resting, pain and more surgery. But, it is done and that is what matters. I now look and FEEL like my old self and that is a huge accomplishment at this point. Tomorrow, I plan to lace up my sneakers and log a mile or two. We'll see how that goes. I am not going to lie, I am pretty excited that I actually need a sports bra again.

I couldn't have done it without my husband and family and friends who love me and treat me like family. Thank you all! I know I haven't been the easiest person to deal with over the past few months, but that is all in the rear view mirror now!

Success. Happiness. No pain. It feels so good to be here.


  1. Erin I'm so glad to read your update. What a long road you've travelled, but how wonderful that you feel like yourself again. Isn't that just the best sort of feeling? :) I'm so, so, so glad for you. Woohoo for feeling good!

  2. Its been less than a month since I have had my mastectomy, so I am glad to read there is relief with the last surgery! Thanks for sharing!