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As far as the actual race goes, it wasn’t my finest hour.
It. was. hot. I mean like sweating through my shirt BEFORE the race started,
hot. It was also super hilly, like rolling hills of the NC mountains hilly. I
was not going for a PR so I just took it slow and tried to make it to the
finish line. I was out on the course alone (as I insisted my much faster
husband run ahead on his own as my pace is ridiculous for him) and my thoughts
got the best of me. Honestly, I felt like I was holding back tears throughout
the whole race. Part of it was joy, seeing what support my mom had being so
proud to be part of a great team. Part of it was the horrible conditions and
enormous hills and my obvious lack of training. But part of it was my thoughts of fear. I just couldn’t get the
thought out f my mind that I hope that I don’t even need a SGK team in my
honor. I don’t want to be the one wearing the pink shirt (reserved for BC
survivors) in the middle of the picture as everyone surrounds me. I do not want
money donated in my honor, I do not want that life. I know it sounds silly but
that is what my mind was focused on. I also would waiver between sadness, joy,
and anger. Angry that my family is even put in this position and I am dealing
with this. 10 years ago to the day I was walking across the stage at JMU
getting my under grad degree. I had no idea that in a mere 10 years breast
cancer would be such a huge part of my life. 
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After we finished the race (and rehydrated a little) we were
able to enjoy some fun at the team tent for the Bliss for the Cure team. The
kids had a great time and it was a wonderful day for my family. I am so
grateful to all those that donated to my personal page or to my mom’s team. My
mom was too weak to walk this year as chemo is hitting her hard but next year,
she’ll be walking with us and she’ll be strong again. And if it is up to me,
I’ll never be wearing a pink shirt at a Susan G. Komen race.
Good for you doing that exhausting run – sounds like it was a test in several different ways, but you made it through. I too hope you never wear that pink t-shirt. Just keep monitoring the situation, and keep pushing forward. Congratulations to you and your mother’s team. What a huge sum you raised!
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThanks! It was a great day!
ReplyDelete