Saturday, June 29, 2013

Marked everything off the the list!

It is official. I've successfully done every excecise type activity post surgery that I did pre surgery with no pain! Most recently yoga and swimming were added to the list. I ran a few miles and did a super hard 75 min yoga class on Thursday and I did it with ease. The instructor is a close friend who has had the same surgery as me and she came over during class to check on me, I said the rest of my body hurts but my chest is fine!
Swimming was wonderful. I grew up competitively swimming and I often forget the love I feel for the sport until that moment when I jump in and get going in the pool. The workout entailed 3600 yards of pool work over 75 minutes during a master's swim practice. It.was.hard. I wanted to quit after the warmup, but I didn't and was so proud to finish every last bit of the workout. Both yoga and swimming are being added to my weekly workout routine!

I haven't posted much lately because I am too busy living and loving life. When I get deep into thought, which happens a lot when I am running, I look back over the past year and it doesn't seem so bad. I think at the moment it just seemed so horrible because of the pain. When you are in pain, everything is hard. Having a preventative double mastectomy was the hardest thing I'll probably every do.  I questioned my decision, I regretted my decision, and then I was disappointed in myself for feeling that way. It was a bad cycle. Once I got rid of the temporary expanders and had my second and final surgery, everything improved. I felt like my old self pretty quickly and I looked like my old self, also.

I am not going to lie, I am still learning to embrace my new body in a bathing suit. The last thing I want is to draw attention to myself but I have been able to wear my old bathing suites and splurged on a couple of new ones. After some "adjusting" (and some reassurance from my husband) I am usually happy with how I look.

So, besides a little "squeaking" while I run, and a little heaviness at times (both due to the implants), I feel totally normal. Push ups are still difficult. I can't say that it causes pain but it is an awkward feeling pulling in my chest area. Doing chest exercises with weights, yoga, swimming, running, biking are all fine. I think with time I'll build back up to doing pushups on my toes again.

I can't say you'll be hearing much from me anymore. I can close this chapter of my life, I can finally move on without fear of breast cancer looming over me and I really have no need to look back now.